A cure for Failing "I" Sight

Hello friends and Family, and welcome back to the Front Porch in the West, and the HEART OF THE MATTER!!

As I enjoy the last light, and cool breeze of this summers day, I have been thinking about so many things, ALL AT ONCE...those who need my prayers and love to support their challenging lives, and then I shift my thoughts to consider the next several weeks agenda, and all that needs to be accomplished, the opportunities that will face me, and the ones that I have missed due to the demands of life. I Long in my heart of hearts to see those whom I love secure in their health issues, finances, and life choices. Isn't it amazing that our brains can contain so many thoughts at any given moment and we somehow are able to sort them all out? OR NOT!!!?

In the midst of these Summer Evening ponderings, a song of worship enters in....( as often is the case for me, when I least expect it, a MELODY with meaning overpowers my rational) and my heart hesitates and surrenders to its strains...'OPEN MY EYES, LORD, I WANT TO SEE JESUS" How I love to sing that song, and at that moment my HEART is totally devoted and my mind "sees" only the blessing and glories of God's goodness in my life ..... ......OH yes, How I long to see my Jesus, certainly in Eternity, but even more so in my EVERDAY life, in my ponderings, my activities and my comitments and promises to keep. When I sing the words to that song, I SINCERELY do want to see Jesus in ALL that transpires, both VISABLE AND INVISIBLE, but unfortunately I have recently been diagnosed with and discovered a common ailment ..FAILING EYE ( OR more correctly said) "I" SIGHT. I WANT to see Jesus in everything and everyone, but somehow my "I"'s get blurred and I don't. Maybe you.ve had these same symptoms.

Recently I have noticed failing "I" sight when the life of my precious new friends son hangs teniously in the balance... "I" ache for these desperate, loving, sacrificial parents who would gladly trade places to have this sons life spared. For 5 long years he has battled with that dreadful ememy CANCER. 5 years of his young life, he has bravely fought, alongside his parents who have done everything humanly possible both to encourage his faith and strength and stamia, but to remain faithful and diligent in asking our Heavenly Father for a Miracle, and recently our hopes have been dashed as the Dr.'s have given less than promising diagnosis. My heart is SO full of love and devoted to prayer in their behalf to BEAT THIS ENEMY!!

Then my mind shifts to think of my precious co worker and Sister in Faith, who has dedicated her life to a son who is now a full grown man, in his 20's but his mind is locked into that of a 2-3 year old. She has diligently protected, provided for and carried this heavy physical and emotional burden has taken a serious toll on her mind and body. Yet her faith never waivers, and she continues on to BELIEVE that her Lord will direct and guide her, and sustain her to keep on. AND...so many others I care about are struggling, suffering and lost.

"I" don;t like this, Lord....I don't understand this..these are HUGE burdens to bear, and being born by the ones you Cherish... "I " know and believe that you are working all this out for good, but in the meantime, "I" confess that "I" don't get it.!!!! .I FEEL SOOO HELPLESS, SO INADEQUATE, SO DEFENSELESS, and "I " can't help but wonder, Lord, WHERE ARE YOU amidst this pain and anguish??? Is is really necessary for our good, and for the good of all creation????? That a Child would suffer, that a parent would GIVE UP EVERYTHING?? Wouldn't it be better to HEAL these precious ones, to remove the heavy burdens..wouldn't THAT be a better witness to doubters..to say "LOOK HOW OUR GOD HEALED...RESTORED AND REPAIRED".. "i" THINK IT WOULD, THINK HOW MANY would believe, then LORD !!?? "I " believe you CAN do this, Lord, "I" ask you to..."I" , "I", "I", I", "I"!!! SO many times our Faith falters when we don;t see God doing what "I" know, I feel or think IS BEST!!!

"Child ( I then hear his VOICE in my heart) you have failing "I" sight here!!...... FOR I, YOUR GOD, SEE MUCH DEEPER AND WIDER AND FARTHER than you ever could. You have UNLIMITED ability to see, and I HAVE LIMITLESS ability !! Can you not rest and trust me??"

Oh Lord, forgive us for not trusting your wisdom here!! The more "I" see and KNOW ( in the Greek this word is translated " to be familiar with someone or thing, to such an intimacy that is over rides knowledge, and it becomes more RELATIONALLY EXPERIENCIAL~~) The More I KNOW God, the more I experience God's ways are not my own, and might never agree with his methods ( Isaiah 55: 8) my focus is too often on the FEELING~~ our longings, our hopes and dreams and suffering get in the way and our "I" sight is affected, and takes power over the TRUTH of the Matter by clouding our vision . The Truth of the matter really is SIN, folks..SIN erodes us of our health, our Joy and our VISION of HOW CLOSE TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER Jesus really is. I never thought much about this, but in the center of the word S I N is that darned ol "I" again!!

Father help us to have " Supernatural Occular Adjustment here, to really SEE Jesus holding this Son, this little Lamb in his arms and comforting his fears and anxieties. Help US, who stand in support and prayer viligence to focus on ETERNITY and not on the unknown and temporal present. Help us to recognize that even amidst the blur of pain and suffering and doubt that YOU ARE WORKING YOUR ULTIMATE ETERNAL GOOD!!

God has such a sence of humor!! Right now, amidst my questioning and grief, HE STILL makes me smile!!
As I gaze out over my neighbors lawn, I see that her little Terrier Pup has been chasing a frog ( going about his business of eating the" intruder bugs" in the garden) and the Pup has the frog cornered, and IT FLIPS OVER ON ITS BACK..DEAD??? We run to rescue it, shaming the pup for this act, and guess what?? The frog, knowin it is in peril has been "playing dead"..When faced with an enemy BIGGER that him, he stops all activity and just flips over, becoming what I would guess to be his MOST VULNERABLE POSITION, he RESTS, HELPLESS and unable to defend himself, HIS INSTINCT has taught him to STOP (W) RESTLING AND TO REST!! WHAT A LESSON from Nature !! Stop striving, stop fighting, stop when you can;t possibly defend yourself, and PUT YOUR TOTAL TRUST IN THE ONE WHO CAN!! Take the "I" out of the equasion and put a U in its place, and S I N BECOMES S U N!! My ever Positive husband, despite the pain, humiliation and discouragement from his progressive Multiple Schlorosis, likes to say " THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING....but sometimes the CLOUDS just hide it!!"

Heavenly Father, I confess that so much of the HEART OF THE MATTER ( or the matter with my Heart) is my FAILING "I" sight, amidst the trials and grief of this ole World!! During these times of distress, grief, fear, and yes even anger, over what is out of our Control, Hold us in the hollow of your hand, guide us that we might not stumble and fall, and HELP US to rely on your provision and protection, and like that little frog, to just stop running and (W) restling and start RESTING!!...

Wait!!! I feel another Song flooding in..........................." Turn your ("I") eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of Earth will grow stangely dim, in the LIGHT of HIS GLORY AND GRACE!"

Until we meet again!! Keep your Faith, and Keep Trusting...In this case, THE "I"S HAVE IT!!!! With Love and diligent prayers in your behalf, Your West Coast Front Porch Sister, Sharon